Friday, November 13, 2009

Frayed Strings

You are one of those people I just can't keep in touch with, it seems. We went so right (or so it seemed), and then the fairytale burst as I secretly (even to myself) knew it would. From there, it spiralled down like a dying phoenix- a dying burst of flame. And I can't really blame you, though you tell me I can (and should).

So our last kiss was the beginning, or maybe just the middle, of a dying correspondence. It's the cataclysmic event that caused all the strings to become frayed and confused- are they strings, or just particles? Are they whole? Were they ever whole? Were they meant to even exist?

I'd feel sad to be those strings, and must be grateful to only be the cause of those strings, the one that holds them as they weep for themselves and their questionable existence.

You know I tried to save them, right? I tried to wind them back together, even if they were only a semblance of the strength they once were (which I must doubt was strong in the first place, but still). They just wouldn't stay. They won't stay. Maybe they've lost hope on themselves, or maybe nothing I do will convince them to keep holding on. Maybe I'm not trying enough, but honestly, this you cannot blame soley on me, my once-dear. The cause of this all- sure, the blame can go for a large chunk to me, but this is not going to be the same thing.

I hope it isn't.

I'm not too sure.

But slowly, I'm giving up on these frayed strings. I no longer wish so dearly to keep the connection alive and whole, and they don't seem to want to either. Should I try to convince them otherwise? Maybe. Quite possibly. Do I feel such a need?

No. I cannot say that I do. And I apologize one last time, because I do not want to apologize to you any more.

I'm sorry, and I'm not. I like you, and I don't. I hate you... and I hate you.

I know it is not much of an apology, but that is what you are getting. Exchange it for as much as it is worth, I'll give you no more.

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