Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sea Turtles

Let's make a heart out of bubbles and watch it wash away with the tide.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Where Crayons Go

You know how our moms, dads, teachers, friends, neighbours, How-to books always said to draw and look outside the box?

Well guess what.

I'm the outside of the box.

And you only see the lines that trap you in.

The Disguises Make Them Look Like Scenery

We're told so often that the bad people don't always look like bad people, that we forget that sometimes they do.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

What The World didn't Offer as Degrees and Diplomas

Let's record ghostly voices on an old tape recorder. Let's tap some phones and stake out some houses. Let's weave a lasso of silver threads for some serious unicorn-hunting. Let's test our handle of G-forces on the tire swings. Let's put on a fashion show with all the cameras and clothes we can find. Let's paint like Picasso all over our walls and floors. Let's smile through and through.

Let's be everything we always wanted to be- all the things that weren't on the list of "You Can Be Anything You Want To Be" given to us by our caregivers.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dear Painful Memories

They say that everyone will hurt you, and that you've just got to figure out who is worth it.

Well, after long and hard consideration, none of you are worth the pain. This is farewell.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Unit 731

Bad ideas, they spread like wildfire.

It's the good ideas that need work to catch flame.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Why The Brain Can't Follow The Heart

The heart wants to jump for joy, even if it's off a cliff.

The brain wants to inch forward and check to see how far the bottom is.

Monday, July 12, 2010

A Farewell Forever

I'm scared of no one remembering to say good bye.

And I'm scared that they'll remember, and it will all be finalized.

The Truth We Never Met

No matter what they all say, someone out there knows the truth.

They just don't know it. Don't understand it.

And probably, they are the ones who never even heard of the incident.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Car Crash

Always looking forward and never looking backward is like always looking left and never looking right; one day, you're going to get seriously hurt.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

She Wasn't Always This Guarded

There's a difference between trusting someone, and being desperate to tell something.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Ways to Fill The Dark Corners

I know they aren't listening, and I know they don't care, but I feel the need to fill the silence with words that mean everything to me and nothing to them.

Because if I stop, I might catch my breath enough to realize that I don't belong.

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Truth About Forever

Sometimes we've got to believe in forever, even though we know there's no such thing.

Because that belief will take us to the end and pick us back up again so we can keep living and keep moving on.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Those who think I'm okay either don't see me, or don't want to.

But I will be, okay. One day.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Miss Dreamer Making Reality

Miss Independant
Miss Free Spirit
Miss Too Difficult To Handle
Miss Big Ideas
Miss Big Actions

Monday, June 21, 2010

Doubt Doesn't Come Alone

There is no strength in my resolve; hope hath drilled holes in my wall.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

London, Paris, Mandrid

I move from place to place, run as long as I can run, not because I want to see the change of scenery, but because I'm scared of the past catching up with me.

The Moral Of The Story...

Fairytales are what they are.

If you go by Disney, they're wonderful little happy stories with neatly-done happy endings.

If you go by their original print, they're harsh, depressing and sometimes gruesome. Happily Ever After is never guaranteed.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Because Sadness is a Sound, Numbness is too Silent

Believe it or not, despite all these tears and all these sad songs, I am happier without you.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Pull of Gravity

I hit the ground and fell to my knees.

So much for running.


Cheers to the life we once had.
Cheers to the life we wish for so bad.
Cheers to the life written in ink.
Cheers to the life washed away in the sink.
And cheers to the life that is so true,
Cheers to the life that is filled with a deep, dark blue.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Our conversations are laced with hidden meanings.

"Anything exciting going on in your life?"
Ever since I ditched you, disowned you, betrayed you?

"I blew up the world,"
I blew up my world.

"And I thought sharks were bad,"
Perhaps you're worse than the sharks we knew.

"Yeah, well, it was fun. You should have been there."
You should have stayed. Should have been there. But you weren't.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Safety and Comfort can be Two different things

The safest place to be is rock bottom.

Doesn't mean it's particularly comfortable, though.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Paradise got too tame,
I never got to see the rain,
Now I can't see the light,
But I'm doing fine,
Using up the sinner's time.

Ideals will be the death of us

Everyone has dreams of becoming a martyr.

But when it all comes down to it, who really wants to save people who only wanted to see you fall?

Circle One Choice in Each Group

[Dear/Hello/To The Person Who Broke My Heart and Being], You,

[One day/Some day/Eventually] I [know/guess/hope/wish desperately] that we'll finally be [even/close enough/still sitting on tipped scales].

I [can/can't/won't] wait for that to happen. Maybe then my [pride/envy/sadness] will disappear, and I can [move on/love again/cry into my pillow freely].

[Thanks/Yours Truly/Burn in Hell],

Monday, June 7, 2010

When Fog turns into a Summer's Day

And sometimes I don't hate you nearly as much as I did the moment before.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Leap of Faith

You tell me to take a chance; take the plunge.

So I do. And I drown in the waters of hope gone bad.

A Present of Poison

I didn't know you were talking using false friends.

If I did, I'd never have accepted your gift.

Monday, May 31, 2010

The Misconcepted Tears

I'm the pettiest person you know.

But I'm not strong enough to admit it to the world.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Oh, The Distance that Wouldn't Be

Because I don't need you to be happy.

It's just easier that way.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's hard to see you, Darling. It's hard to hear you through the bubbles

If my hand slides from yours into the heart-breaking sea,
May I ask you one thing; Did you do it purposely?

You can't hold water forever

How does one know if their words are really safe,
in the hands of people who tell the words of others,
without a second thought?

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Misguided Courage

It's a sad kind of funny that once you say no to someone, you're automatically labeled troublesome. When you give an opinion that is different from everyone else's, you're stared at as if you're crazy.

After all these times I've stood up against someone, or I've given my opinion, or said "No, I don't feel that way." or "I am sad, even if you say I shouldn't be," people still look at me strangely.

I'm oh so very troublesome and heartless and a million other things. Just because I dare to feel what I want to feel, and think what I want to think.

And people actually think we've come far from a hundred years ago.

The Difference Between You and I

Every time I talk to you, I feel like weeping for the words you won't say.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Sin God Left Out

Hope has wings.

I've just got to find it, kill it, and steal them.

We never, not once, said Good Bye

'I miss you' just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

And maybe it never did.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

When Hope Flew Away

It wasn't that all hope was lost,

It was just that we got tired of trying to tie hope down.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Within Responsibility

I'll gather snowflakes around me, so when the avalanche comes, I won't feel guilty of my part.

The Fine Print

When you said you'd do anything for me, any time, any place, any how, I didn't realize it came with so many conditions.

You're No Superman

You say you'll be my hero, but I have to ask;
How do you expect to save someone, if you can't save yourself?

I'm Six Feet Under, And The World Knows

The words I'd say to you on a normal day burn in my throat like a fly who's gotten too close to the candle flame. And I know that one day, the miniscule bits of ash will add up and drown my lungs.

And when I'm dead and buried in the ground, I know that my lungs will finally be clear, because my last breath will send the ashes of words to find you, and you'll hear them, no matter where you are.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Storm Rages On

I reach out to you, and you pull sharply away.

And I wonder how my touch came to hold such deadly lightning.

The Space Between Us

They said not to be sad because they'd see me again. They'd still be around.

Thing was, I saw the good bye looming. I saw the end. It wasn't that they wouldn't be around, it was that I wouldn't be.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Queen Sent The House Toppling Down

When I refused to live in a house of cards, the puppeteer got angry. I cut away my strings before he could pull and ran with crystal eyes chasing me.

And then I found a house he couldn't knock down with a gust of wind, and that's when he got creative.

Now the rustle of paper leaves keeps me up at night, and I can't walk to the market without echoes in my ear.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I Dare Brave The Sunset

Here's the difference between you and I;

You're comfortable walking around during the day and night, and think you're brave for doing so.

But it's when the sun is setting and the things that go bump in the night start to reach out of the shadows that you hide; and that shows your fear.

Everyone knows by the time darkness falls, the goblins and ghouls, the monsters and the sirens, the fairy child-thieves and the maiden-kidnapping minotaurs have all chosen their victims.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Heart Attack

I want to hold something. Anything.

But most of all, I want to hold my heart, so it doesn't go running after the wrong thing.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Assassin's Mistake

I wonder if you follow me like I follow you: secretly.

And I wonder if one day we'll turn around and see that we're both behind each other, hiding in the bushes.

Spring Onions

If I had a sword, I'd cut you in half.

And just to make sure you didn't come back to stab me in the back again, I'd take out a chef's knife and chop you into little bits.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Theives of Hope

Because I know you, and the second I tell you something without a lock and key to bind it tight, you'll give it to the hope stealers, and I'll never have it back again.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Missing Piece of Truth

Everybody is asking How, but no one care's about Why. So Why ran away to cry alone, and the whole truth is splintered from thereon.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Princess to Pauper

Yesterday, I was sure of myself as a queen.

Today, I feel as if born to mere peasantry.


The worst of it all is that I truly believed we could change the future, another lifetime ago.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Five words, five years ago.

Sometimes it's the words of the past that describe the present so perfectly.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Is it weird that I find the bathroom the most peaceful place in the house?

Perhaps. But that doesn't make it any less true.

Now, if only the toilet was a comfortable, plush seat.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Forever is a Long Time

To smile in itself is a strength- but to be true to yourself, to cry when you feel like it, to laugh louder than the rest, to be who you are- that is the true strength. Anything else is stupidity.

A Paradise in Ruin

You are who you are, and no one else; If you try to be anyone else, the words don't flow, the sun doesn't shine as bright, and eventually, the gloss peels away and the castle crumbles into ruin.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Gingerly, Gingerly

I know the second I turn around, I'll see the shadow of you with a whisper on your lips, and a knife in your fingertips.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Between The Leaves Light Shines Dappled

I'll wake up tomorrow, and everything will have changed.
I'll have found a treasure in the most simplest of places.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Plucked from the Vine at a Very Young Age

If ethical was a fruit, you'd never taste it's nectar.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Nightlight Could Ruin Me

In the darkness I stare at my reflection; strong, beautiful, confident.

Then someone turns on a porchlight, and I see only weak, broken, lonely.

The Truth You Really Can't Handle.

The truth you can't handle to hear is the truth I can't handle to tell you.

It'd tear us all, bit by bit, down to our cores. And we're broken there.

So let's keep on believing the lies and say we're whole. It's better that way.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

There's A Reason Why Fireworks Only Get Days, but Stars get Eternity

Between me and you, we were like fireworks- extravagant, show-stopping and explosive.

But in the end, we were just gunpowder and a quick flame, and nothing to compare with the everlasting stars.

Surprise, or Disbelief?

Will you raise one eyebrow and call it two?

When The Leaves Can't Stay Still

You say you're tired of this restless war.

I ask, what if war is all us restless have?

Friday, March 19, 2010

Easy Street

There's an easy way out.

But is it really all that simple as the brochure states? Is it really all that painless as it promises?

It's a Trick of the Light

An opportunity, a hope, a dream.

A time to say yes, forget the past, focus on the future.

But the future isn't as bright as it seems, and the dreams are nightmares in disguise.

A Broken Vase To A Suncatcher

If everything falls to pieces, at least I've got all I need to make something new and extraordinary out of them.

The Thanks To Who Saved You

Because I fed you when no one else cared to. And you bit me anyways.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Only the Fish to Hear Me Now

My voice is like an echo in an empty cave;
I'm hoping for something to be there to hear, but it's only my words that return to me.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Some Things Are Dressed In Rags

In looking for something exceptional, you overlooked the real paradise only steps away.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Subjective Friendship

As long as the truth is suspended in disbelief, we will be on the same side.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Erased from Time

It's only a little saddening that I am no longer included in "what was."

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Best Acting Comes When You Believe Your Character is Real

We may never have been "real friends," but at least I can take pride in the fact that I was a better fake friend than you ever were.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

When It Ends

Sometimes, it ends too quickly.

But other times, it didn't end quickly enough. And it's those times that people don't quite understand.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

You're Hot and You're Cold

Loving you is like shivering from cold in a hot shower.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Life I Could Be...

It's a path I'm too sensible to follow,
But it makes her as happy as a bird on wing.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

No Matter What, You Will Be Who You Are

You don't want me to change. But you want me to be happy attached to you.

And for me to do that, I'd have to change my whole being.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

This is Why...

Sometimes, your family does what your friends don't dare, or don't care, to do.


With your eyes closed, you never realize just how bright it is where you are.

He Tells Lies Better Than I Can Tell The Truth

The lies are smoother than polished glass, while the truth is fractured in a hundred places.

Monday, March 1, 2010

And The Window Shatters

Sometimes opportunity comes wrapped in a brown paper bag smelling of week-old tuna fish sandwich.

And other times, it comes as a rock, seemingly useless until the weight of it really hits you. And then you let it fly.


The primary-colored blocks were stacked too high.

It only took one piece of popcorn to send the kingdom tumbling to the ground.

Queens are Just Like Us

Every Queen
Has a wish
That is for herself,
instead of her people.

Friday, February 26, 2010


Just this once- just once more-

Don't give up on me.

You Are My Insomnia

You keep me awake at night with your possibilities of things that will never happen.

It Takes Only Two Words

But still...

Two worlds that can mean the world.

The Nature Of Loyalty

My loyalty faltered when I found yours had long before.

And still, I was too late to escape unburned.

The Generic Storyline

The story of you and me is pretty basic-

A beginning, a middle, and, too soon, an end.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's Like Telephone, But Oh So More Deadly

I never worried about where my words went after I said them.

And then one day, I followed them.

Now I don't say anything at all.

It's Not Grade Three Anymore.

Just because I don't want to talk to you doesn't mean I want to hear your words come out of someone else's mouth.

What The Adults Don't Know

We don't tell the adults because they just wouldn't understand.

They'd want to try to fix it, not knowing it's unfixable. Not knowing that we like it better broken.

If Only You Weren't Scared I'd Find A New Star To Love

How am I supposed to see the stars if you're always standing in the way?

So Blind To The Stars I Am By You

Without you, I am so blue.

But with you, I am a blue as dark as a moonless nights' sky.

Yes, I Did Once Think You Were Perfect

They ask how you can hate someone after so many years.

It's because you see exactly who they are, and after so many years, who they are disgusts you.

It's Hard Not Taking For Granted

Did I betray you by believing you'd be here forever?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Careful What You Wish For

All I ever wanted was you to pay attention to me. To care. To love me like you should.

And now you do. And I wish you didn't.

Everything You Are

You're the reason for my sigh.

You're the thought behind my stare.

You're the word upon my lips.

You're the regret in my tears.

Exclusive Tree House Rights

When we were younger, you made a sign that said "No Girls Allowed."

So I became one of the guys.

Now that we're older, you've put up a sign "No Boys Allowed."

It's More Complicated Than You Think

I blame you. You blame me.

We both think we did right. We both know we did wrong.

Maybe They Didn't Know What The Truth Was

All of the song writers, they got it wrong.

It's not like losing a friend. It is losing a friend.

It's not your fault. It's our fault.

I'm not sorry. I just wish you were.

What If I Reacted Differently?

It's hard to wonder if you'd still love me if I wasn't her.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fragile Dreams

It's a fragile dream- a snowflake, a thin crystal orb, a twice-broken heart.

But I believe in it wholeheartedly, because if I don't, I'll never give it a chance.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Time Will Leave Me Behind

I'll be a pariah of time so I can stay in this moment forever.

The Piranhas Will Gobble Me Up

You told me it couldn't be done.

But now I'm a fallen star, and I couldn't be happier.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Me and You, We're 1 in 2

I could have been a statistic.

But you pulled me out of the numbers, you gave me a face and a future.

The Cynics All Adore You

You ask me when I became so cynical.

I reply that you're the one who showed me forever is a dreamer's lie and that happily ever afters are only for the written word (and only sparingly, even then.)

How We Dance With Fire

Somehow, you see me as instinctive and impulsive.

Somehow, you fail to notice the hours I spend mulling over every decision. You fail to notice how many times I swing the cage door wide, only to shut it again. You fail to notice the calculated timing of everything I try to accomplish.

Somehow, you got me mixed up with someone who dances for their enjoyment, when I'm really the one who spends hours perfecting my routine before I show the world.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

For Once, I Love You Because I Want To, Not Because I Have To

Because you are family, and it's not about having to love you, it's about wanting to love you.

And trust me, I do.


No, I'm not 'cracked up to be' anything;

Because I'm not broken.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What We Risk Now

What would we risk if we  didn't know everything would be okay in the end?

What would we throw away if there was no guarantee it would return?

Not Everything Tastes Like Poison

It wasn't harmful, until it killed us.

Failed Future Plans

Sometimes it's not the memories that hurt so much- it's the promise of what would have came but won't anymore.

Made and Kept

There's the promises we make and the promises we keep.

The former has a list infinitely longer.

Trying To Be Blind To You

If I turn off the lights, maybe I won't recognize the memories I trip over.

If I cover my eyes, maybe I won't match the pain my hand feels to you.

If I hold my breath, maybe I won't happen to repeat the words you told me so long ago.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Secrets That Aren't So Secret

It's hard not to know the secrets you've been keeping when you've told everyone, and everyone has told me.

BFFFLFSDIGTRDidIGetThatRight *High Five*

We were once so much more than Best Friends.

We were Best Friends Forever For Life Fo' Shizzle DIGTR? Did I Get That Right? *High Five*

And now we're nothing.

My Fingers Barely Brush The Blade

There once was a time I'd do anything to keep you from hurting. Even when you stabbed me in the back, I pleaded for your safety.

But the knife is getting rusty with the blood. The painkillers have worn off. Despite my sacrifices, your hand still pushes the knife further.

I'm sure if I could reach the knife now, I would kill you with it.

In My Heart Lies Cobwebs and Fire

Take a step back. Move your scissors away from my heart strings. Don't you see how dangerous this is? Don't you see the tangle they're in?

One snip, one cut, will send the whole thing to unravel, and my heart will go with them.

Where Fingertips Barely Touch

Time keeps us apart, but our hearts string us together.

The Truth About You and I

The ending was a promise. It was the living that was the lie.

Teetering on New Feet

Tearless. Indifferent. Smiles. Laughs.

Baby steps.

I Trusted You

The curse of the trusting is that even when we know it's a lie, we trust that they would lie better than that.

Confusing Memories

Smile at your sad memories- they won't know what to do with it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

What it Shouldn't Be

I trust you, therefore I trust myself.


Smile at the happy memories, even if they're sour now.

Then they won't hurt so bad. It's all about mindset.

The Steps Are Slick With Lies Covering Truths

It's all about learning to lie.

Perfect that, and then you'll make it to the top.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Words Are Clogging My Lungs

I'm suddenly silent, because there's no one left to listen.


Tell me what you want, and then I'll tell you what we've got.

Strength's Portraits

When strength is both laughing and crying, screaming and being silent, knowledgeable and ignorant, whole and shattered, how do you figure out how to be strong yourself?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

You Were Expecting a Happy Ending, Huh?

I close my eyes, and when I open them, it's the same wall as before. And I don't know what to do.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Why I Don't Regret

What you've got to realize is that for everything lost, there's something gained. For everything wrong, there is something right. For every mind that says no, there's a heart that says yes.

And this is why I don't miss you. This is why I don't regret.

Bend and Break

You say you were asking me to bend. I disagree.

You were asking me to break.

The Difference Between Shadows

There's shadows in in front of me, but there's deeper shadows behind me. A light might banish the shadows onwards, but I know it won't banish those backwards.

Shadows That Hunt You

You know it's getting bad when you're running away from the shadows chasing behind you.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Memories to make the Future

If only the memories would go on forever without delay.

Sunny Days

Remember the days we'd lounge with out faces upturned to the sun?

Do those days hurt you as much as they hurt me, now?

What It Means To Be Queen

Her chin won't move a fraction. Her eyes stare straight ahead. For this world, a tear will not be shed.

She is a queen, through and through, even if her castle's walls have been destroyed and her armies decimated.

Unconditional Belief

I believe in you, even if no one else does. Even if everyone else does.


I like to think you miss me too...

Return To Sender

I want to say thank you...

But I don't know what address to put on the letter.

One Day, Your Name Will Be In Lights

I'll be waiting to hear from you.

If only I knew your name.

The Better Question

Today I asked myself what you would say, and became a better person for it.

Thank you.

What You Are

You are lucky, beautiful, smart, kind, creative, compassionate, loving, wonderful, and magical. I hope you know that now.

The Golden Life

Just to let you know, you have the life I dream about even now.

Won't You Come Back?

I miss the girl I hardly knew.

The Circumstance of Words

In any other circumstance, we might have been enemies.

But through words, we became something like best friends.

I Feel We Have a Connection

I miss you, even though I don't know you.

Dreams That Make You Cry

I had a dream about you.

One you'll never know I had...

What You Say

What you say can never be unsaid.

Even if it was a whisper in the wind, the wind has caught those words in it's wisps and cannot let them go.

What You Write

What you write, it can't be taken back.

Even if you burn the paper, the ashes know what you wrote.

Trying to Be You without a Photograph to Consult

I miss you, even if we were never 'friends.'

I want you back, because at least with you here, I had a goal of who I wanted to be.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Two Suns

And sometimes, you need to be your own sunshine even if there's one already.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

No Other Assurances

"All I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missing"

How To Tell You

I don't know how to speak to you, to talk to you and tell you how I feel.

Do I tell it to your photo on my phone? Your name upon a paper? Your ashes in a box?


Yes, I'm broken.

But that doesn't mean I can't be repaired.

What You Did... Just Know It Hurts

I'll forget you until I can remember you without crying.

Curse Those Eyes Of Yours

I was okay, really.

Until you happened to look my way.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Goodbyes in Spring

I have to say good bye while the sun is still shining.

Because if I don't, I'll go through winter thinking I should keep holding on till spring, and I'll never say it.

Given A Chance

Given a chance, I'll no doubt mess it up.

Given another, I'll no doubt do better than anyone ever could.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Want Me There

Say what I will, I don't want you back.

I just want you to want me there, by your side.

Being Family

You don't just stop being part of a family- you either never were or you always will be.

Take Two

It's not that I don't want to. It's that I refuse to.


Waarom, miksi, por qué, γιατί, почему, hvorfor, varför, warum, لماذا.

No matter how you say it, I can't understand. 

The Connection Between Your Heart and My Life

If I cut you out of my heart, will my life begin to heal?

What Will You Love Me For?

If I try to be everything I'm not, will you love me for everything I am?

Which Why Fits

Tell me all the reasons why, and we'll figure out which one fits.

What Did You Suspect?

What? Did you expect them to wait for you? To miss you so much they'd never move on?

Did you expect them to come back, even after so long? After you said for them to just continue on?

Words to Save Myself

'I never want to see you again' isn't as strong of a phrase as you think.

If I never see you again, I can forget you, and imagine the fingerprints you left on my heart yours.

The Missing Words You Don't Care To Hear

And as much as it hurts me to type these words, I love you, I'll miss you, I never want you back.

Still Family

You can say it all you want, but they're still your family.

Even if you were just adopted through another.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Conflicting Opinions.

I have nothing to say to you.

I have everything to say to you.

The Downside of Meeting New People

The secrets, the lies, the scandals.

If only we didn't meet so many people, maybe all this would never have happened.

Maybe we'd still be happy, all of us. Instead of each of us being frayed, cracked and broken.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

And If You Did...

And if I did grow my wings,

If I did soar above you,

What would you do then?

Don't Let Me Fall

You told me you'd never let me go, you'd never let me fall.

But now my hand is slipping, and your fingers are unwinding from mine. I find myself viewing the world as I plummet to the ground.

It's beautiful, but I've had no time to grow my wings.

The ground is inevitable.

The Big Top

It's hard trying to learn how to walk the tightrope when you can't trust the net.

More Than A Hero

I'll be more than your hero- I'll be your death.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Sun & Moon

I'll be my own sun, I'll brighten my own day.

And I'll be the moon as well, while I'm at it- so I can brighten my night too.

Forgiveness Ran Away

Most of the things we did, we did because we knew we'd be forgiven.

How do you feel now that forgiveness is not an option?

Or do you believe that, sooner or later, forgiveness will come running back, begging to be within your crossed arms?

Pick your Poison

"Choose, him or me!"

It's like picking my poison.

And you wonder why I can't decide.

Memories with a Knife

It's the memories that we thought we'd cherish forever that will hurt us the most.

Hear Me Now?

It's the voice that speaks that is heard.

And yet, so often people think it's the other way around.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hidden Questions

There's hidden questions in there, and hidden answers too.

You just have to know what you're looking for.

Simple Answers

Remember when answers were simple? Remember when we thought it silly if you were so upset with cheating on someone, but didn't stop? Remember when we thought getting over a fight needed no more than a consensual hug? Remember when we thought you either loved someone, or you didn't?

Remember when there was only one right answer and one wrong answer, and not a billion shades of grey?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Excited about Nothing

If you're excited about nothing, don't question why. Run with it, because it might be a long time till your e\xcited about something so small.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Twelve Years of Memories are Hard to Erase

It's hard to not think about you when so many things can be connected to twelve years' worth of memories.

But it doesn't mean I want you back.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Who Am I?

Who am I?

I am a princess, no, the Queen of my own castle.

I am the ruler of my own world.

I am a strong individual.

I am noble and kind.

I am a great person.

I am loving.

I am loved.

Who am I?

Anything I want to be.


You say "neutral" as if it's a good thing. Maybe it is for them, they've got all the countries on their side, but me? I'm alone, and no one's about to step up to help me.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Rock What You Got

I'll play strong songs from morning to night.

But when everyone's gone to sleep, and only the owls are awake, I'll play that one sad song on repeat.

Beside the Stars

We're at the level of the streetlights now.

So if we just follow these paths they shine, maybe one day we'll be up beside the stars.

Everything's Place

It's when you lose everything that the memories come flooding back to take everything's place.

Where Does the Blame Go?

If I refuse to take the blame, where does it go?

If you refuse to take the blame too, then what happens to it?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Noble Lost in the Action

This isn't a story, a novel, a book. Noble actions done to save others in their blindness are not recognized. You are not commemorated when you sacrifice your happiness for someone else's- no one knows what you've sacrificed. No one will notice if the harsh words you say are to keep them from sure danger.

This isn't any fairy tale. They won't realize what you sacrificed, what you did to yourself, what you did for them so that they could succeed.

Doublely Used Band Aids

How can I take your words to heart, to put them on the cracks as Band Aids, if you are giving the same Band Aids to my once-friend? To the girl who made these very fissures?


I know it's not your fault. Because it's mine. It's always mine, and it has never been yours. It will never be yours.

At least, that's what you say.

Crumbled Fairytales

Now I have to wonder if the fairy tales that I've created can hold me up when one of my real-life ones crumbled to pieces.

The Things we Throw Away

It's a new, lighter pack to carry. But there's less people to help carry it.

Turn Up The Music

I'll blare the music into my ears to keep the memories of your voice out.

Twelve Years

Twelve years. Twelve years is good bye.

Another example of forever broken.

Change of Storyline

Once upon a time, there was no Happily Ever After.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I Don't Want To See You Anymore


Because I realize it will just keep raining while you're here

It's Okay To Diverge Sometimes

They never told you that it's okay to end up on the road most traveled by every once in a while. Cutting swaths through the jungle can get tiring every once in a while.

I'll Be Queen If It's Better Than Being Me

Please. I can rule a country, if only you'll take me out of here.

The Star in your Eye

If I was a star, I'd be the star in your eye.

So I could see what you see, and be put down in history as your soul.

Castle on my Ceiling

I look at the castle on my ceiling above my crumpled sheets and wonder why it hasn't gobbled me up already.

Breaking Apart

What do you do when the only thing keeping you together is the knowledge that breaking apart would be impossible at this moment?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Preparing for Prince Charming

Always brush your teeth, always be able to smile. You never know when you'll fall into another world and trip over your Prince Charming

Side Mirrors

If I focus on the side mirrors, I can imagine that we aren't moving. That we are staying in one place.

The only hint at anything different are the pinpoints of light flashing by in the reflection.

You Can't Hear The Sun

You hear sadness all around. You close your eyes and listen to the rain, the thunder, the wind through the weeping willows.

But it's time for you to open your eyes. You can hear the rain pouring, you tell yourself. How can you know the sun is shining if you can't hear it?

But it's there. The sun is there, and you've just got to open your eyes to see it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Reasons Why

There is always a reason to why I do what I do, to what songs I choose to sing, to which questions I ask. The reasons might be inadequate, but they are still there.

So, just know I am lying when I say I don't know why.

Relying on You

I never realized how much I rely on you until I couldn't stand to call you anymore.


I bite into the square piece of pineapple, and wince inwardly as the citrusy juice runs over my dried, cracked lips.

Had the alternative been available, maybe I would have tempted a bite. But then the alternative would kill me, closing my throat as quickly as it could, and I'd die of asphyxiation.

So the pineapple is worth it- it will only sting my lips. It's flavor is near the same, but at least it isn't out to kill me.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me

And I can't keep it up anymore, I can't keep telling you it's okay as long as you're happy. I can't say that this is the best present I could ask for- your happiness. Because it isn't. There's no happiness for me, nothing at all.

Through and through, it's a bitter Happy Birthday to Me.

A Hole In My Bucket

You turned my heart into liquid, then punctured a hole into my bucket.

What Do You Say?

What do you say to us being together forever?

Or, what do you say to us never seeing each other again?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Finding What You're [Not] Looking For

What happens if you're actively not looking so that one day what you aren't looking for will fall into your lap?

Does it work? Can it happen?


When you are looking for something, you'll find it.

Even if it's just a temporary placeholder for the real thing.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Suddenly, There's Nothing You Should Be Doing (Yet You Think There Should Be!)


...And they wonder why the stressed get even more stressed when they are un-stressed.


Let's disappear for the weekend. Let's forget everything that needs to be done, the fights we're in the midst of, the words said, the words meant.

Let's take an adventure holiday, and find freedom on the way. Even if it's only temporary.


Sometimes, the greatest moments can't be captured on camera.

Sometimes, those moments will only be believed by those who were actually there.

Those Sometimes can be the most precious of them all.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Toll

What if the years that everyone thinks made us stronger really tore us apart? What if the only reason we're still arm in arm is because of habit? What if the only thing keeping us together is the strings we don't dare cut because they'd tear everything apart with us?

And what if it's these strings we can't cut, this habit, these years taking their toll that really makes us friends forever, better sisters there were never?

What if because all of it, we don't fall apart in the end?

The Search For Perfection

The search for perfection is a long, sorrowful road with an unsatisfying end.

Sooner or Later

Don't you realize? Don't you get it? There's never going to be a "good time of the year." There's never going to be a forever, an endless beginning.

Sooner or later, we'll have to say good bye. Sooner or later, we'll not talk to each other.

Sooner or later, you'll have to realize there's no such thing as forever.

You Made Us

They all wonder how the created can turn on the creator. "I made you," is the often uttered phrase.

Yes, you made us. But on the way there, you hurt us and taught us how to hurt, you tore our hearts out and taught us how to be heartless.

Most of all, you changed us from what we once were, whatever we once were, and by doing this, you taught us how to change even more, and how to turn the tables.

You made us, and now we're destroying you.

The Flawed Perfect

Settle for flawed and perfect, not perfect but flawed.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Maybe We Are Too Different

You don't see it. Of course you don't.

But I'm tired of being different, tired of sticking out between you two.

So maybe I should leave you two to enjoy your new hobby of objectifying yourself and go find people more like me.

People I won't be embarrassed to call my friends.

Pinky Promise

We promised never to turn into those girls who reveal everything they've got. We promised never to become objects. We promised never to lower ourselves enough to those girls who care more about how they look than how they are inside.

We promised each other. We crossed pinkies and swore.

I kept mine. Have you kept yours?

Jumping Through Hoops

I don't want to jump through your hoops. I don't want to have to prove myself to you. I don't want to do everything for a little bit of nothing.

And yet you're determined to have me do these things.

Well it won't work. Soon enough you'll have a hoof in the face, and maybe then you'll understand you can't mess with me.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


I've taken to wearing sweaters to bed because it makes me feel as if you're still here, holding me as I sleep.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Just One More Night

Just one more night. Give me just one more night to experience this peace with you, before I have to throw it all away.

Just one more night, then tomorrow I'll try to part with you once again.

Feeling Without You

You made me feel as if I could do anything. You convinced me to feel beautiful outside and in. You made my life feel magical.

Now I have to find a way to make myself feel all these things without you.

The Future

It scares me, this thing we call "the future."

And what scares me more is that I wasn't scared of it before now.

The future used to be simple. What ever happened would happen. And now the very thought of letting things go their own way frightens me.

My breath quickens, and I suddenly want to step back. Step back into the past.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Keep your head above water, keep trying to live.

Because there is someone out there that loves you, that's wanting to care for you, to keep you alive.

Bargaining Chips

I'm sitting here on the stairs, lost in the dark and unknown as you barter, trade and steal chips around the table. Minute by minute, you're giving it all away- all that is important to me, without another thought.

The flowers have wilted, the candle burns to its last bit of wick. In one cruel game of dice, I've lost everything ever promised to me.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Fairy Tale Magic

It's the fairy tale ending to all this I'm hoping for.

It's the prince in shining armor that I'm pining for.

It's the riding off into the sunset that I'm dreaming for.

It's the perfect in my imperfect life that I'm wishing for.

And I need it not to fall apart before it begins.

Walls Made Of Paper

Does anyone realize these walls are paper thin?

Or do they all not care if what they say is heard by the world?


If you believe you deserve to be more angry than me, then go ahead.

I'll choose to be happy instead.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Fairy Tale meets Reality

Can one keep going in this reality we live in and be successful without pushing all the fantasy and fairy-tale-ism out to the cold, hard street corner?

Can one be me?

Welcome Back

What did you expect me to say?

"Welcome back!"?

After you've been gone so long? No "Be right backs" no "Good bye, see you laters"

Just silence.

And you expect to be welcomed back?

The Middle

I never knew that between Once Upon A Time and Happily Ever After there's a lot of hard work.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Let's Be Somebodies

Let's go people watch.

Let's watch the somebodies, the millionaires, the Cee Eee Ohs. Then we'll copy how they walk, how they swagger, while laughing and falling over ourselves, making jokes at their expense.

And hope maybe someday, we'll have what it takes to be like them too.

Hurting Me

No, they didn't hurt you. You've said that before. And because they didn't hurt you, you don't care.

But they hurt me, can't you see? They hurt me and I can't not care so easily.


This memory isn't a monster. It's a monkey, doing tricks while taunting me with a banana. I can laugh at this memory, laugh with it, because it is a good memory, and I had a lot of fun. But yet, I feel a deep sadness, because it's what I can't have. It's the past, and I'll not have it back again. Just as I've had a banana before, but I can't have this one now. It's in the hands of the monkey, who's stowing it away in it's stomach, never to be tasted again.

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Edge

The reason I keep toeing the edge is that everyone has given up on trying to stop me.

Will you wrap me in your embrace and take me away from the precipice?



The only thing that keeps me moving on, no matter how many times it fails me terribly.

The only thing besides medicine that gets me to sleep.


A cruel, necessary thing I wish was a guarantee.


I used to think I was invincible. That when someone promised me something, it couldn't be taken back. That everything in the world was fair- if I worked hard, I'd be rewarded justly. That people cared about what was wrong and what was right.

But now everything has been flipped. Promises are feathers in the wind, hard work is overlooked, and wrong and right are replaceable with each other.

It's hard to keep my footing in this topsy-turvy world.


It's when your lessons on defending yourself are turned against you that you know you've been a bad friend.

What I'd Give...

I'd give everything to be you.

And I'd keep everything to be me too.

Does it Hurt?

You'd ask, does it hurt to be left behind in the dust?

Does it hurt to be thrown away for something better, or even something worse?

Does it hurt to be smiled at, then have every thought of you pushed away because you're just not important enough?

Does it hurt to be you?

You'd ask, if you knew how it felt. But you don't, so you assume I'm okay.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Have you ever tried to step in someone's footprints through a field of nearly-untouched snow? Or how about your father's as you followed his fast and larger feet through forests when you were young? It's quite difficult. The footsteps are not yours, and so you must try to adjust your stride to the length of legs that are not yours, predict the difficulties those before you had to face, match a step two sizes too big to your step two sizes too small.

So forget about following in someone else's footsteps. Create your own. Carve your own path through sand, dirt and snow to your own place of choosing, and your life will follow.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Burnt Gold

You haven't seen me in months. You didn't come for Christmas, or my birthday. You decided you were too busy for us, for me. You cause drama from far away because you can't say anything to our faces. You won't even say sorry to me.

And then you send a card. Decked out in a dull, baby-blue envelope with handwriting displaying my full name but for my mothers, and circling your address with a cloud.

And you expect me to rip it open, don't you? You expect me to forgive you for all you've done, all you're doing. All you've put us all through.

You expect me to set you back upon your once-pedestal.

Unfortunate. No luck for you. That pedestal has been sent to the crematorium. Congratulations, you're burning gold.

Knowing the Future

We wish that we knew the future in the past. But maybe there's a reason for this- maybe the universe knows that we couldn't handle knowing what the future had in store for us before it was upon us.

Fairytale Ending

So, okay, my fairytale ending wasn't sparked by the downtime that was in mid-swing just a year ago. That's okay, it was just a small bump in the road.

But this time- this time will be it. If I just get in enough trouble, enough of a sticky spot, I'm sure my prince will turn up.

He has to. I need my fairytale ending.


I thought I found where I belonged. I was scared to lose it, this paradise. The other masked it's sharp self in silky words, but here? Here the words were rough, the place small, and I thought, Hey, maybe I found my place.

I won't call this paradise sharp, dark, or cruel. It's not, and I know that. But I see that you, the guardian of the paradise gate, don't believe this is where I belong.

So once again, the place where I thought I belonged has been closed to me, while a coy little monster crept in. And I wish you and this place were dark and cruel and sharp, because then that would make this so much easier to accept.

Care About Me

I'm scared to hope, I'm scared to care. But it's always on my mind, your decision is always on my mind.

I know how to make myself care, that's easy. But I don't know how to make you care, and that's what brings me to my knees.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Your Created Perfect

It is a strange feeling when you realize you're competing against something of your own creation.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Words I'd Say

Oh the words I'd say, if only words could be forgiven easily.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Day After Decisions

I wished I could have joined you. That I could be you. That I could go through all those fun-looking actions, and say all those flirty, drink-induced words.

But now that it's the day after, I'm eternally grateful that I don't have the guilty memories you carry, and the decisions you have to make now.

Changed People

The world is spinning for you, but I'm firmly ingrained into my space. I see you all become something different as ethanol warms you up, then cools you down. You become people I don't know, who I don't want to know.

I don't think I'll be drinking for a long long time. And I won't want to go to any of your parties either.

But you know I will, because I can't be left out.

What You Missed

You didn't miss much. You were a part of it all.

You just missed everything important


I'm sitting at one end of the dark room, the opposite side of where it's lit. It's my party, and I should be having fun, but all I'm seeing is everyone getting so wasted that they can't tell what's the floor and what's the couch. And you, who just a half hour ago noticed me sitting back and came to ask why, you're now shooting down shots like the rest of them and can't remember why you're even here.

That this is my birthday. And I'm somehow supposed to be having it all.